Full Circle Moment

I am living lots of full circle moments in my life right now.  I am caring for my parents in their home and doing many things for them that they did for me when I was a child.  This hit home specifically one morning when I was preparing their grapefruits for breakfast.  I remember vividly as a child that my mom would scoop the grapefruit out for me and leave it in the shell so that I felt like I was doing it myself.  I am now doing that for her.

Then one day my dad complained that he wasn't getting anything out of the grapefruit except the juice.  So I started scooping his out into a bowl.  He was shocked at how much "meat" I got out of the grapefruit.  He kept asking if it was more than one grapefruit.  I assured him that it was only one half of a grapefruit.  He was thrilled and marvels every morning at how amazing it is.  What a great reward for such a simple thing.  

My mom has dementia and over the years she speaks less and less.  When it first began she would repeat the same things over and over again, almost to the point of it becoming aggravating.  But gradually she just quit saying much of anything at all.  Occasionally she will have a moment of clarity and it is always a delight to have a short conversation with her.  

When my dad had his awards ceremony many of the family came up and to say, "Hi."  My niece, Rachel, came up to talk to her and my mom looked up and said, "Well, Rachel!"  I was thrilled to see Rachel's face light up at the fact that my mom recognized her and called her by name.  It is funny how much we take that for granted until we are not sure that those we love the most know who we are.   I find myself hoping each time someone comes to visit that Mom will acknowledge them.  Because deep down, I know that she knows who they are, but it just doesn't always click together fast enough.  

A few mornings ago I had a delightful conversations with mom.  As I was getting her up I asked if she was ready for another day on the farm.  I said there were cows to be milked and we better get to it.  She looked at me kind of strangely and then said, "Well, I bet I could still do it."  I told her I know she could because she still has a really strong grip.  I reminded her of the stubborn old milk cow named "Old Satan" that had to have stanchions put on her feet to keep her from kicking the bucket.  My mom didn't know that and just went ahead and milked her with no problem.  Mom said, "I can still see that cow like it was yesterday."  She kept asking me if anyone still milks cows anymore.  I told her that my niece, Charity, just got a milk cow and was doing it.  She asked if I had ever done it and I told her no, because you never taught me.  She seemed very disturbed by that idea.  

She finally said that she told herself she was never going to milk another cow as long as she lived.  I asked her why and she said, "Because it's a mess!"  We both laughed and it was so great to share this memory with her.  

As I laid her down for her nap that day and told her to have a good rest and said, "I love you Mom."  And she responded, "I love you too, Valeen."  Sweeter words have never been spoken or heard.